Christmas

By the grace of God...I managed to get everything sorted for Christmas! My family spent the weekend before Christmas with us and it was good to catch up with them.

We had the opportunity to go to Gloucester Cathedral for the Christmas Eve carol service. Before the service started I was aware of a slight chill in the air, then the lights went off and we waited. Then, in the darkness, we heard the choir begin to sing and it was amazing! There is just something very special about being in a place of worship where people have gathered for hundreds of years. Once home we watched 'The Nativity Story' together which was a lovely way to prepare for the day ahead. Christmas Day itself was very peaceful and lovely - just the four of us - together.

The Word became flesh and made his dwelling among us. We have seen his glory, the glory of the One and Only, who came from the Father, full of grace and truth.

John 1:14

The key theme of the services, both from the Cathedral, the midnight mass broadcast from Peterborough Cathedral, and our own church on Christmas morning, was 'Emmanuel' - God with us. That our heavenly Father - the Lord of all, was willing to give up all that He had to enter into humanity as one of us. And we have been so aware of His presence with us this year.

Finally, time to prepare for Christmas...

After a huge amount of hard work and several (very) late nights I finished all my assignments and handed them in on time - God is so gracious. And then I was able to enjoy the last couple of days of college and particularly the Christmas party, which was brilliantly funny and precious and poignant all at the same time!

The college term finished yesterday and I'm now torn between feeling relieved that I get a break from assignments, and feeling sad that most people are journeying home for Christmas and the majority won't be back until after their block placements - so I won't see them until the end of February. I'll be back in college in January to work on my dissertation, but it will feel very different as I won't have lectures to go to and the college will feel empty as only a third of the students will be around.

I'll be sorting things for Christmas in the coming week - it'll be a mad dash to get everything organised as I've hardly got anything done yet as I've been so busy with college. Still, by the grace of God...!

Approaching the end of term...

With just one week to go before the end of the term my focus is on completing my assignments on time. I have three different pieces due in next week and it is simply by the grace of God that two are nearing completion, although the other is still a work in progress.

In the past two weeks I have had to deal with the anniversary of Jon leaving, I have attended court to settle the finances and a mediation session with jon to talk about contact with the children. And all this on top of 'normal' life...it is enough to say that I have found the past few months incredibly difficult and both physically and emotionally draining. I am looking forward to having an opportunity over the Christmas period to have some time to relax and spend some quality time with my girls and my family.

It is usual for third year students to complete a six week placement as part of the degree course that I am doing. However, after discussion with the placement co-ordinator, in January I will begin organising my placement so that it can happen later in the year, partly because the past two terms have been so hard for me, but also because my placement will take a bit of organising - but more of that in time. For now, I must get on with my essay writing...

November 2008

I begin this letter by expressing my immense gratitude to all who have supported us over the last few months – both in prayer and in practical ways too. Thank you all so much!

The girls and I have had a very moving year – in lots of different senses…

Moving out…

As the school year ended we put our belongings into storage with help from friends from London and from our church here, as we had to leave the old house in early August. We then moved to one of Redcliffe’s student flats for the summer break. We had a very busy summer, but managed a quick visit to Mum and Dad, and a catch up with friends and family, in London as well as a week away in Torquay.

Moving in…

After what has seemed like a very long wait we are now in our new house. The works were completed just in time and we are now enjoying our newly decorated house. We had a brilliantly sunny day for the move itself, with yet more help from friends from far and near. There was quite a lot of rain in the following few days, so to have had such good weather was a real blessing.

Moving up…

Almost immediately after moving the new school year began for the girls. Beth returned to her junior school in year 5 and Abi started year 7 at the same secondary school as Bex who is now in year 10. Abi has settled into her new school, but the homework/travelling to and from school/new environment have been a bit of a culture shock for her. Bex is already studying for her French GCSE, but the rest of her GCSE studies now begin in earnest so there is quite a lot of work ahead!

Moving on…

For me, I’m just about to start the second term of my third year course at Redcliffe, which I will be doing part-time over the next two years. It is good to be truly back in the wonderful community that has been such a strong source of support through the past year. I am making some new friends and developing existing friendships with the students in the second and third years, while getting to know the staff better. I am already aware of how much work there will be involved, even after just one term - it is going to take quite a bit of a juggling to manage the course requirements alongside looking after the girls and running the house – as well as looking for a job, which is now an unfortunate necessity.

On that note of finance – I am already grateful to God for His provision through the generosity of others in their gifts. It is good to know my security rests in Him for all things! But again, an enormous Thank You to those of you who have supported me in this very practical way so far.

Moving through…

As I write this I am very aware that it is a year ago this month since jon suddenly walked out. Sadly, the divorce will soon be finalised and I have to go to court at the end of November to sort out the finances as jon has refused any form of mediation. Since he left, life has been so incredibly difficult. I continue to struggle to come to terms with everything that has happened so far and the inevitable changes and emotional difficulties that still lie ahead. However, I am where I am today by God’s grace alone and I am so grateful to Him for His love and His sustaining presence in each and every moment.

I am so grateful to God for His provision of such amazing friends and family who have supported me this year. Your prayers and contact have been so important to us. We thank God for you all.

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For those who pray – please forgive me the extensive prayer list that follows – there is so much coming up in the next few months that there is much that I would appreciate being lifted up before God:

Give thanks:

• for the provision of a place to live, even though we had to wait for a time before we could move in.
• for the continued provision of supportive friends and family.
• that move itself was smooth – praise God for all the wonderful people who were willing to give up their time to give us a hand
• and praise to God for bringing us through a very difficult summer.
• that we are managing to cope during this difficult time – for the love shown to us by many dear and wonderful friends and His sustaining care in the very darkest of times.
• for developing friendships at Redcliffe and the beginning of new friendships

Please pray:

• for all of us as the divorce becomes finalised. This will inevitably affect me very deeply and the girls too.
• for us as we come up to and live through the anniversary of on walking out.
• that the courts will make the right decisions regarding the finances.
• that future contact between the girls and their father will be a more positive experience as it has not been easy through this past year.
• for me as I get on with my studies. Pray that I will be able to cope with all the work asked of me and that I will be able to engage with all the teaching. Pray, too, that I will learn all that I can and as I learn that my relationship with God will grow and deepen.
• for the girls

• that Bex will cope with all the challenges that doing her GCSE’s will bring
• give thanks that Abi has settled well into her new school
• for Beth to continue to enjoy school and being with her friends
• that they will all know God's love and sustaining care personally

• about our future. I know I am here at Redcliffe for the next two years, but from past experience that time will fly by! Please would you pray for God's wisdom for both myself, and those around me, to discern His way forward for me and the girls.
  

A request for prayer...

We really need your prayers. We haven't got a date for moving yet as the house we want to move into has needed some work. We're waiting for the contractors to give a date for the completion of the decorating. Once they've said when the work will be done we can have a date to move in. We're hoping this will be asap as we've got less than a month before we have to leave our current house.

I have kept an eye on other properties for rent in the local area, but everything else is either too far away from the girls' schools or too expensive, and although I'm finding it really hard to hang on (I have fingertip faith at the moment), I really believe that this is the house God wants for us.

Please pray:

• that we will know a date soon
• that we will continue to trust God in this difficult situation
• there will be clear leading from God if it is right for us to look for another property
• that everything will work together according to God's plan and his perfect timing

Thanks, in advance, for praying - we really appreciate knowing that others are lifting our needs before God.

May 2008

Writing this letter, which is one I never thought I would have to write, has been a very difficult task. I am faced with having to let everyone know the devastating turn events of last November. It is with the heaviest of hearts that I sit here and try and find the right words, and that hasn't easy at all. However, it is with enormous sadness that I have to let you know that jon walked out on me and the girls last November after having had an affair. At the beginning of February he initiated divorce proceedings which he is seeking to push through as quickly as possible. jon is currently living with his parents in Wiltshire and he has resigned from the ministerial course at Bristol Baptist College. As far as I am aware he is no longer pursuing a call to Baptist ministry.

The consequences of his actions have been immense. We have had to stop working with the church in Cheltenham and I have been given compassionate leave from my course at Bristol while I care for the girls and start to come to terms with the enormous impact this is having on our lives. The future is very uncertain, but I feel that it is really important for the girls to have some continuity. I have therefore decided to stay in Gloucester so that the girls can remain with their friends at their current schools and so that we can return to worship at Kendal Road Baptist, the church where we had been for the previous two years. The pastor and my friends at the church have been wonderful to me and the girls during this difficult time. Their love and support has been, and continues to be, invaluable.

I still feel very strongly that I should pursue my call to ministry, but to do so at Bristol Baptist College as a newly single parent, and in the current circumstances, would be incredibly complicated. I have therefore decided to return to Redcliffe in September to complete my degree. I am planning to study my final year part-time over two years which will reduce the pressure of the work load and enable me to continue to offer my full support to the girls. It will also give me time to begin to adjust to what has happened whilst still allowing me to continue with my calling, albeit by a different route to that which I had thought. My friends at Redcliffe, particularly my personal tutor from the past two years, have also given us a huge amount of love and care, for which I am profoundly and immensely grateful and this will continue to be important for me during the time ahead.

For the last three years our financial support has come from the equity from the house we sold in London, but I am now faced with the remainder being divided up. I have also lost the potential salary from the church we were working with and the accommodation that they would have provided. This is a incredibly complicated consequence of Jon's actions and one that will have a huge impact on my, and the girls, future.

With returning to Redcliffe I will be looking to raise support for the fees for the final year of my degree. I have calculated that the total cost will be £7500 and I would like to ask you to consider if you would be able to make one-off donations towards this amount. I am not primarily looking for ongoing support towards our living expenses, though if you feel this is something you would be able to do I would be immensely grateful. Contributions towards my fees can be made directly to:

Redcliffe College, Wotton House, Horton Road, Gloucester, GL1 0PE.

(Please make cheques payable to Redcliffe College, and enclose a note explaining the amount is towards my fees.)

If you would like to support us as a family then please get in contact me (details overleaf) and I would love to talk with you and give you the relevant details.

I am sorry that I haven't written this letter before now, but the last few months have been unbelievably traumatic. I am so saddened by what is happening and just wish that we weren't going through this.

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For those who pray

Please bring us all as a family before God

• we are all so much in need of His love during this difficult time.
• please give thanks for all those who have come alongside us with their love and care – we are immensely grateful for their support

For the move:

• that the pending repairs will be done promptly so that we can move before the end of July when our current tenancy ends
• that the move, when it happens, will go smoothly.

For the future:

• that the there will be a smooth transition as I return to Redcliffe
• that I will be able to find some kind of employment that will fit around the children and college
• that we will feel truly settled at Kendal Road and that our friendships there will deepen and grow.
• that the girls will be able to cope with everything that they face, but especially:
• for Abigail as she leaves Junior School at the end of term and then moves on to secondary school this September.
• for Rebekah who will be studying for her GCSE's from September
• for Bethany as she will be in Junior School on her own for the first time once Abigail has changed schools.